Listen Now
A few days before I finished high school, the local newspaper ran an article about graduating students. They interviewed me and three of my classmates, asking us about our future plans. Our answers sounded like those of normal kids on their way to college.
The truth is, my life up to that point had been anything but normal. My mother would send me to a nearby church so we could get food and some clothes. That kind of care began to point me to God.
Many of my classmates came from two-parent homes, but my childhood was unstable. At a young age, I witnessed domestic violence, substance abuse, and loss of life. I was sexually assaulted several times, and one of those experiences led to me becoming a mother while I was still in middle school.
That was never the plan I had for my life.
I had always wanted to escape poverty. I wanted to be an accountant, even though I didn’t know anyone in that field. I was good at math, I was quiet, I loved reading, and I liked the idea of working with computers.
My teachers helped me stay focused, but it wasn’t easy. When I was eight months pregnant, my mother was arrested. For a time, I moved between family members’ homes and was separated from my siblings.
Still, by God’s grace, I graduated at the top of my eighth-grade class.
My family decided that my daughter and I would live with my grandmother while I finished high school. It was not perfect, but it was more stable. And I continued going to church and learning to trust God with my problems as well as my hopes and dreams.
Becoming a mother forced me to find my voice and take on more responsibility. I was angry about what I had lost and the challenges I now faced, but I channeled that energy into accomplishing my goals. I was really a child raising a child, but my grandmother helped care for my daughter so I could go to school.
No one made me go to school or work. No one told me, “Good job!” when I did well, even when I earned the highest ACT (college entrance exam) score in my class. By my senior year, I was very tired. I had worked several jobs, stayed active in school, and kept my grades up.
But I was graduating from high school — something many people in my family had not done. And I didn’t stop there.
With hard work and my grandmother’s support, I went on to graduate from college three times. I earned my undergraduate degree in Accounting, then came back for my MBA. And sixteen years later, I returned to school again for a PhD. I made mistakes along the way, like turning down a full scholarship, but I kept going.
I believed that God would bless my efforts, and He did.
I built a career as an accountant and created a stable life for my family. Now, I use my voice and my experiences to help others.
I’ve been told that my story isn’t unique, but the ending is. And I’ve come to understand what that means.
A lot of young people grow up in unstable environments. A lot experience trauma. A lot are forced to take on adult responsibilities far too early. A beginning like this may sound familiar, but it doesn’t have to stop you. Having, or finding support that’s a hand-up and not simply a hand-out makes all the difference.
In my life, that support looked like teachers who reminded me of my potential, and a grandmother who made sure I didn’t have to carry everything on my own.
That support didn’t erase what I went through. But it changed what was possible afterward.
Looking back, I know I worked hard. I know I made a decision to keep going. But I also know I didn’t do it alone.
And the truth is, not everyone gets that kind of help.
If you’re reading this and your life isn’t going as you imagined, you’re not alone. Your story may not start the way you planned.
But with the right support and a willingness to keep going, it doesn’t have to end there. That support looks different for everyone. For some, it is a trusted friend, a teacher or a church small group. For others, it might be affordable childcare, flexible school policies, or help with housing and transportation. Your beginning does not determine your ending.
Stay focused. Ask for help when you need it. Keep moving forward.
Dr. Melanie B. Hoskins is a CPA, public policy professional, and founder of Brightspot Publications. A first-generation high school graduate, she built a three-decade career in corporate America and now uses her voice and lived experience to support others navigating life after loss, financial insecurity, and major life transitions. She is passionate about helping individuals.
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