My story isn’t one for the faint of heart. If I were to be honest I would say that I was born an addict. When I was a child I was always chasing a high. I remember spinning around and around, where most kids would stop, I would keep spinning. Growing up I was raised a very strict Catholic, but unfortunately for me that didn’t change much in my life. My faith was faked and I never truly submitted to God like I should have. At the age of six I was raped and molested by my grandfather and that just fueled the fire, this was only the beginning of the abuse I would endure. 
I began to search for something that would make me numb, make me forget. Before long I found alcohol. Finally, what I had been searching for. The memories and pain faded away with every shot I took. I was able to stop for each pregnancy, but as soon as they were on the bottle, so was I. During my pregnancy with my daughter, they discovered cancer. I blamed God. Why would he let this happen to me, was I that bad of a person. Had I not been through enough? After beating cancer one would think that I would thank God and submit, but I didn’t. Then I started needing more, more alcohol and new ways to feel high… I had completely submitted to alcohol. Waking up in the morning to take a shot so that I could puke, and then drink all day. In my purse I always had shooters. In my home I had bottles hidden in every room. I was never out of reach of alcohol. Then alcohol wasn’t enough. I began putting myself in bad relationships and bad situations. The adrenaline plus alcohol became the only way I could function. I attempted rehab three times and finally the last time it stuck. It took losing my relationship with my kids, my relationship with my fiancé, jobs, cars and my home. My last trip to rehab was different. I was for the first time in my life honest with myself. I admitted my problems and prayed like I had never done before. I finally surrendered and submitted my everything to God. I began reading the bible daily, talking to God non stop. Finally, I started to hear him talk back, I started seeing signs and my faith was real and pure. I was so lost and he found a way to bring me back. God gave me a new life, one I never thought I deserved. I am active in my faith, my children have forgiven me, and are so proud of who I am now. God truly does make miracles happen. We just have to trust God’s will, not ours.
-TH
