Shaken Baby Syndrome

By: Emily Bodily

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The Following Article is From an Open Letter by a Mother Whose Little Son Died From Being Shaken:

My name is Emily Bodily and I am the Parent Spokesperson for the National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome. My son was shaken in 1998, and after putting up a valiant fight for four days, my precious son, Elijah, lost the fight and passed away.

I should start from the beginning in telling you my story. Elijah was 16 months old when he went for a visit with his biological father, Jason, for the weekend of December 19th through the 21st. My nightmare began with a phone call from Jason on the morning of Monday, December 21st. He told me Elijah had fallen off the bed and stopped breathing, and the paramedics wanted to know which hospital to take Elijah to.

I went to the hospital and was later told that my son was shaken and would most likely not make it through the night. He struggled for four days, putting up a fight that looked promising to the outside world. However, in my heart as his mother, I knew he was losing the fight. I, too, was losing all strength to go on day after day, watching his little body only struggle more and more. On December 24th I told the doctors to take my son off life support.

I knew and I know to this day that Jason loved Elijah. What I did not and still don’t understand is how could he have gotten so angry with such a precious little boy to use so much force on him. Jason told investigators he could not stop Elijah from crying and that became overwhelming and frustrating to him, so he shook him.

If you have a child who survived this awful abuse of shaking or if your child passed away, you know that as parents and family members, we go down roads that we would never wish upon anyone.

If your child did not survive, you are in mourning for all the wonderful things you will miss through the years. You find yourself having to somehow stay strong for the many trial dates, and having to come up with the money to pay for the funeral cost and medical bills.

But if your child survived, you will need to learn many medical procedures and keep a record of all that is going on with your child. You will more than likely become his personal nurse and have your days filled with doctor appointments. You will also mourn for the (normal) child you lost, and now rejoice in the smallest progress made. Because for most, every small step is a miracle.

In my case Jason ended up pleading guilty to a first-degree murder charge and was sentenced to five years to life in a Utah state prison. In his plea agreement he was required to serve 12 years.

One of the things that has helped me get through this hell is coming to grips with my anger toward Jason. I was not okay for many years, hating Jason the way I did. I now can say I don’t hate Jason. I was angry because in a matter of minutes he took so much away from me. I’ll never be able to forget Elijah nor can I “just get over it.” Making a documentary that has been used to help educate parents and caregivers on the dangers of shaken baby syndrome really helped. It was a way I could help the world understand the problem and for me to heal in the process.

I invite you to feel free to explore our website where you will find two other letters like mine. One is from a grandparent who is raising her twin granddaughter, and one from a mother whose child was shaken by a day care provider. I hope that each of these letters will help you and give you some inspiration.

Three actions to take when you are frustrated with your baby’s crying:

1) Carry your baby, and walk, and talk more with your baby. It will help, even though he or she may keep crying. You will be doing the right thing.

2) If you start to lose control, put your baby in the crib and walk away for a few minutes until you are calm.

3) NEVER, EVER shake or hurt your baby.

Night after night. “It was so discouraging,” said one dad. “Our baby giggles and seems fine during the day. Then almost like clockwork, he starts crying around 6:00 pm. He is growing and healthy, so why does he cry like this?”

Often parents say their baby looks like he or she is in pain. They think he must be, or why would he cry so much? Babies who are going through this period can act as though they are in pain even when they are not.

Other parents have felt like you do. Don’t give up. There is help. That’s why the Period of PURPLE Crying was made.

The Period of “Purple Crying”

IT HELPS TO KNOW:
The letters in PURPLE stand for

Good NEWS! The word *Period* means that the crying has a beginning and an end.
	PEAK OF CRYING Your newborn may cry more each week, the most in month 2, then less in months 3-5
	UNEXPECTED Crying can come and go and you don’t know why
	RESISTING SOOTHING Your baby may not stop crying no matter what you try
	PAIN-LIKE FACE Crying babies may look like they are in pain even when they are not
	LONG LASTING Crying can last as much as 5 hours a day, or more
	EVENING Your baby may cry more in the late afternoon and evening