Listen Now
Don’t you just love a masquerade, put-on-a-role, party? I do. I can let my imagination soar and have fun when I put together a great outfit! Then the party’s over, and though I always have fun, I must put the costume away. Putting the costume away is not hard, but taking off the mask—now that’s another story.
I used to wear many masks, but they weren’t the kind you put in a box.
My father was an alcoholic, and as a child I learned to take care of myself in a defensive manner. Soon, I had a supply of colorful masks to carry me through the chaos in my life.
My masks came in handy to cover up what was really going on at home and inside of me. By the time I was an adult, I had grown fond of my many masks, and I attached a certain comfort level to them. I just loved hiding behind them. I didn’t even realize that I had such a colorful habit going on. I lived in denial of all the emotional sickness that was going on within me.
You might wonder what masks I wore outside of my house. Here are my top six:
- My Party Mask: I wore this mask at all social events. I just loved wearing my happy face to hide my years of childhood sorrow. I was the life of the party. What a great smile!
- My People-Pleasing Mask: I wore this mask to make me feel worthy and to gain acceptance from people. Wearing this mask was a tiring effort and often made me feel resentful. Saying “yes” to everyone’s requests just kept me burnt out.
Jesus said, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32)
- My Religious Mask: I wore this mask at all church events to show that I was totally fine and a class-act church member. I loved telling everyone, “I’m FINE, thank you very much.” A more truthful (recovery) translation of “FINE” is, “Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.” But my mask kept my lies intact.
- My Rescuer Mask: I wore this mask when I needed to save someone else in crisis so I could avoid my own painful problems. It came in handy whenever I jumped in to save the day and became the heroine. After all, weren’t everyone else’s needs more important than mine? Wasn’t I superwoman?
- My Busy Mask: This mask allowed me to try fill my emotional needs with shopping-till-I-dropped, binge-watching TV, and endless surfing online. I filled my calendar with so many activities that I didn’t have time to be quiet and deal with my problems. Looking busy kept me from going anywhere with a real purpose.
- My Performance Mask: This mask helped me consume myself with work, exercise, writing, reading, or craft projects so I earned points as the superwoman of performance. The problem is, I became a human doing rather than a human being! This mask even cut into my sleep time and made me so tired! I was way out of balance.
My masks were perfect for hiding my hurts, hang-ups, and bad habits, but inside I was dying. My wounded child grew into the angry teenager, then the rebellious young adult, and finally the sick adult.
The pretend life wasn’t all it seemed to be! In fact, I grew tired of the games and the cleanup. At the point I was struggling the most, I stumbled across a book about recovery at a yard sale.
Recovery is a spiritual program based on honesty. The old masks must go, along with the old thinking and old behavior. You are as sick as your sickest secrets. Since Jesus is the truth, it makes sense to drop the false props and get real! Recovery gives you the tools you need to do a spiritual makeover.
The One who makes all things new had better plans for my life than playing masquerade all the time. God provided the gift of recovery for me. I found hope in the rooms of recovery where other people were also trying to overcome their hurts, hang-ups, and habits.
I am learning to improve my relationship with God, myself, and others. I am learning to let go of Satan’s lies and adopt God’s light! I am learning to look honestly at myself and change my thinking and behavior.
Bye-bye, pretend life. Hello, recovery makeover!
Recovery groups like “Celebrate Recovery,” or “Ready Now Recovery” are key for getting rid of your masks and finding your true identity in Christ. You can also find other Christian recovery groups near you. Ask around!
