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Forgiveness is for YOU, NOT the other person!
As a youth pastor of a large ministry in Brooklyn, New York, I discovered that a lot of people think my life is perfect. I have a lovely little family and I definitely love to smile. However, people might not know that I live happy because of choices I have made in life. One of them is forgiveness.
In Ephesians 4:32 we read, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Many people choose to follow God and accept Him as Lord and Savior, but they can’t live as happy people because they are not willing to let go of past issues and forgive.
True forgiveness is not easy, and it doesn’t magically happen in one day. In my own personal life it took years.
When I was growing up, my dad was a pastor and my hero. But when I was nine years old, that changed when he cheated on my mom. Around the same time I began to get bullied daily by the kids in my school. So up until I was twelve years old, I hated myself and wanted to die.
In junior high I gained a little bit of confidence and began dating. Unfortunately, the popular guys I dated didn’t know what faithfulness was. I was constantly being played and I knew it, but I thought that was just the way life was and that I had to live with it. Many nights I cried myself to sleep, feeling unworthy.
Later in life I was drawn into a situation that was emotionally abusive. As a result, I lost trust in humanity and felt more alone than ever. My heart was broken, scared, and full of resentment.
Even though I felt so awful, I never stopped loving God. I would continually seek Him and ask Him to guide me. It was just another typical day in my crying out to God when I realized I needed to do something about my pain. I needed to forgive! But after my parents’ divorce and my father’s new marriage, the deep pain and distrust in people was back again.
One day God gave me a “divine appointment.” God put several events together so I would discover something important. I was on a flight to Albuquerque, New Mexico, but due to weather problems, the airplane landed in El Paso, Texas, where my parents lived. My mom picked me up from the airport, and she encouraged me to call my dad and meet his new wife.
Even though she had been hurt and broken by what happened, she forgave and wanted me to do the same. I had not spoken to my dad in months, but I called him. He picked me up the next morning, and I could see he was trying to cover his tears. He introduced me to his new family, and as tough as it was to admit, I liked them! God had prepared that moment, and I was able to forgive my dad. I also made the choice to forgive anyone who was standing in the way to happiness!
We don’t forgive people because they deserve it! In fact, forgiveness is not “for them.” Forgiveness is for you! You might have gone through far worse than me, but forgiveness is a gift to yourself! I encourage you to let God heal you. Let him break off those chains that are keeping you down. Open up your heart and look deep. Forgive others as Christ God forgave you!
